How to Make A Recession

You’d think there was no business shortage. You’d think it was business-as-usual. Maybe we all dreamt up this “recession” thing, because these people can’t be having one.

3 Examples of the Apparently Fake Recession

#1: I needed tires for a weird old car. One tire was badly worn, the other three “passable” but too old to try and match. I told my wife it was for safety reasons. (This is how car guys justify most purchases, including paint jobs.) I called a tire place I’d dealt with a few times before.

When I called, I asked tire dude if he was looking at my account. “I don’t need that now” he says, “I’m out in the shop; can you call me back in an hour or so?” This is a pet peeve of mine, shared among the customer public: We called YOU already. So now we’re supposed to set a reminder to call and ‘guess’ when you might be available? The other problem was I felt like an unknown; no history nor regard for any prior relationship (marketing lesson). I never called back.

Called the competition, was treated fairly, paid slightly more (most customers value service and reliability above price anyway) and have my tires. I guess the other company, where I’d bought 16 tires previously figures I’ll “remember” to call them one day. More likely, I’ll remember not to.

#2: Our church needed banners to display in the very Gothic sanctuary and being a formal “traditional” church, the ones from Kinko’s wouldn’t do. (Picky picky.) They wanted tapestries and it was my job to find them. Fortunately, with digital printing technology, this can be done without employing Turkish women from the 11th Century. If you’ll do a Google Search – and gosh why wouldn’t you (marketing lesson) – you’ll see roughly half of America is in the church banner business.

In this apparently competitive field, I chose 4 companies, and completed the dreaded “contact field info” for my query (marketing lesson in the word “dreaded”). I filled out all the little boxes and emailed them saying basically that “We want to purchase 4-8 tapestries, with custom designs, and were excited to speak with them about this project.” I don’t know about you, but some might call that a “buying signal.”

I guess the tapestry business is booming. I guess those looms are humming ‘round the clock, because exactly ONE company called me back. I couldn’t even compare services. I won’t say she did a great sales job, but she did comply with Woody Allen’s mantra: “Half of life is just showing up.” She showed up, got the business.

I guess the others are weaving their own little tangled webs about why business is off.

#3: We painted our house 3 summers ago. Had some mildew attacking the sun room windows. (This is Alabama; if you don’t keep moving, you’ll mildew. We cleverly use Tilex as a Body Spritz.) I called the original painter, who collected $21,000 for the work 3 years ago, that I’ve not heard from since but referred one job to, nearly immediately afterward. (Actually 2 lessons in that sentence.)

I wonder if he’d stayed in touch, acknowledged the referral, or had a referral ‘system’ if he’d have gotten the apartment building job down the street, my small warehouse downtown, or gotten introduced to the ever-popular interior designer next door? Just a thought. Anyway...

He gave me some home-made chemistry lesson on how/why the mildew attacked my fairly new paint (though it didn’t happen with my old paint, go figure) but said he could pressure wash, etcetera, and use some new/different/better paint to correct. All on my tab. I wasn’t enthused, but agreed. (Painters: have you ever considered a maintenance agreement? I’d have one if it existed.)

He did that job, and just for being here, (proximity and recall, very important in future sales) my wife ‘remembered’ two other small jobs inside, that he also did for a fee.

I made the mistake of asking him how business was. Told me that times were hard; no one is doing anything, he has laid off 4 painters, may be selling his other truck and calling it quits if things don’t pick up this spring. (My knee-jerk reaction: Does the calendar tell you what to do? Farmers rely on seasons too, but THEY PLANT SEEDS to get results.)

While he was inside, he never noticed that our stairwell looks like it’s been sandblasted (I have two teenagers) and that our baseboards may have Chicken Pox (teething puppy). Never asked us if we were even considering getting this done, or any new work to our house, even though the aforementioned Interior Designer has been nearly camped out here helping us with a Kitchen remodel. (Lived here 12 years, it’s about time.) He was blind to the opportunity less than 6 feet from where he was standing.

I mentioned, “What if you mailed all your former customers in this area, told them about your ‘House Wash and Touch Up’ Service that could make their house look like it had been repainted, but for a fraction? Told me no one would do it, even though I just had.

I mentioned, “What if you agreed to give a free ‘Painting Check Up’ – inside and out – to gain audience with customers and find other jobs they’d neglected?” He said, “Too much trouble for the work, probably no one would do it.” We just did that too, and he was holding a check as evidence. Sigh.

With that, I knew he’d been beaten. Had nothing to do with his skill or availability, but everything to do with a self-created limitation. His attitude pummeled his aptitude, limiting his altitude in the process.

Sure, there may be ‘victims’ of the recession, yet some hoping not be left out, become partners as well. Here’s to the victors.