The Joys of Air Travel

Back when Orville and Wilbur started the first airlines (tagline: "Hope We Make It!") they were shocked people would willingly ride in a plane, much less pay for the experience.

In time, air travel advanced to a stage where hot food was served in-flight (seriously, it happened) by attractive ladies with pronounced cleavage regions. Often during this "golden age", you and your luggage arrived at the same spot simultaneously.

Back then if you were late for a plane, you could always sprint down the runway and the friendly pilot with a gleaming smile would reach out his hand and pull you aboard, apologizing for the inconvenience.

We didn't have much "Security" back then. You could basically stroll into an airport, smoking several Camel cigarettes, cleaning your nails with a machete, and as long as you had a ticket, you'd be welcomed into the plane, with an apology for the inconvenience.

The "safety message" you'd hear was, "You are required to drink Bourbon on this flight. In the event this makes you queasy, here's a baggie. If this plane goes into the water, we hope you can swim. Steaks will be served shortly, so when I come by, please unsheathe a steaknife from my pronounced cleavage region and we'll get started. Thank you."

Today, most flights are delayed up to an hour while a 'stewardperson' mumbles something about seat cushions that double as white-water rafts, then gets the 'guests' on Aisle 8 to sign a waiver that they have a) been doing work outs with an emergency door and b) if everyone perishes it's completely their fault.

One thing that IS the same today are the lap belts. No one has ever explained why cars (many of which don't travel at 25,000 feet) have lap belts, shoulder belts, 3 dozen air bags, plus a Government- mandated glove box that - in the event of an impact - will emit acres of shaving cream.

Yet in a plane, which goes 700 mph (down the runway) and has no bumpers, we still use lap belts from a 1961 DeSoto. On a side note, I have been seated between what I am certain were dual side air bags dressed in business casual. Though I felt 'safe', I was unable to fully inhale from Atlanta to Denver.

No matter, if you want to get somewhere fast, air travel still works. Oh sure, it's not as dignified as it once was, but once you've endured several dozen body cavity searches, 'dignity' is a distant memory.

Why fly?

A face-to-face meeting hasn't been supplanted by the internet; conversational sincerity can't be replaced with email. Warmth of handshake, a genuine hug, and breaking of bread still irreplaceable by any means.

Soon, 6 consultants will travel from various locations to our Nation's capital, which I hear is still in the D.C. area. We've been meeting for 3 years (written about ONLY in SMI), twice a year, in different locations to discuss consulting, contracting, the betterment of both and each other.

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