Some of you will recognize the above as the 8th album by Van Halen released 1988. I offer my own version of 8's and bulges below, starting with everyone's favorite food-induced coma day...
8 Things of Thanks
- I'm thankful that after eating lethal quantities of oyster dressing that my belly button didn't actually shoot off of my personhood and hit someone. That would be hard to explain, but would reduce the number of family members I'd have to talk to next year.
- I'm thankful that I took an extra day off before Thanksgiving, though I couldn't quite figure out what to do with that time slot known as "nothing". I'm a failure at relaxing.
- I'm thankful that it never, ever, ever crossed my mind to "occupy" a city in protest of greed. I do oppose greed, as most do. Yet others help disempower it through charity, works, example andnot focusing on it. Second point here and I'll shut up: If greed is amassing unearned bounty, how is demanding equally unearned bounty supposed to offset it? Sorry. Maybe it's the Oyster Dressing talking.
- I'm thankful that my daughter is involved in looking at college choices. And getting a scholarship. At her age, I have a fleeting recollection that when the first college accepted me, I was on the way there before they recalculated admission standards.
And if you can stand anymore, here are 4 more,
which includes at least one rather embarrassing admission. Hide your children's eyes...
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