Consistently Inconsistent

The Department of Motor Vehicles hates me. Soon as I walk in, amid the aura of inefficiency and sugary snacks, I sense a silent plot to send me away empty-handed to retrieve nonexistent paperwork. I feel like the new guy on the job site sent for a left-handed hammer. I imagine the scene:

“Mr. Hudson, you’ll need to bring back a form verifying that you came in here without it.”

“What form is this?” I ask nervously.

She barely contains herself as her cubicle mate’s shoulders begin to flinch in contained hilarity. “Well, it’s the form called, ‘The Form I Previously Forgot.’” She pauses to bite her lip. “And, of course, it’ll need to be signed by your dentist.”

I appear puzzled. She shouts over my shoulder, “Next!” and as I slink away, the entire department rolls on the floor, laughing uncontrollably.

Yet this week, it was different. After being dismissed for various invented reasons, I walked right into another branch office and surprise, surprise…

I found just a little inconsistency. Oh my. Let me back up slightly.

You may recall from a few issues ago, I was “kinda-sorta-not-really-shopping for another car” (which is the official description I gave my wife). Turns out, a car actually materialized in my garage. Since someone has to take care of it, I headed to the DMV for a tag.

I have my Bill of Sale, signed Title and a folder full of officially official documents. I await my turn, then Cruella Coupe DeVille calls my name. I dutifully hand over documents rumored to produce a tag.

She studies the stack, then points to something meaningless and frowns. I promise, this ensues:

“Mr. Hudson, this Title Release isn’t on official letterhead.” She peers over her pointy glasses, barely clinging to temples pulsing with denial.

“Well,” I begin, realizing I’d mistakenly handed her a document from the two previous owners, so then I cut to the chase: “The Wisconsin Title wouldn’t be signed to me unless it had been released.”

“That may be,” she mildly concedes while scanning the other documents, “but the date on the Bill of Sale doesn’t match the Title.” I thought I detected a small flame – like the last one left in a Bic disposable – leaving her lips.

“See, I agreed to purchase the car on the date shown on the Bill of Sale,” I said pointing to the date. “But, of course, they didn’t sign the title over until the funds cleared.” I thought this would do it, but she was going for the kill.

“I see one price shown as ‘Suggested Retail’ and then another one here says ‘Selling Price.’Which is it?” said the teacher from Hogwarts.

Barely containing my inner smart aleck, “It’s the ‘selling price.’ That’s what I paid.” Yet her next comment is a contender in the “I can’t believe you just said that” Hall of Fame.

“I think I’m supposed to charge you tax based on the higher figure (reaching for the calculator) unless you want to get all of this corrected.”

I was in awe. “You mean, you’re suggesting I pay tax on an amount I didn’t pay?” I fumed slightly. “Tell you what, I’ll just get these issues cleared up and come back.” She’d won. Control Freakanomics Consumes Idiot Taxpayer. Almost.

I left and immediately went to a different DMV branch, with the exact same documents. I handed them to a nice lady who appeared to have met competence and reason. She studied them carefully, matched numbers, perused dates, entered the information and 11 minutes later handed me my Title Application and Tag.

She only said, “Your transaction date is officially recorded as that on the Title, since that is the document of transfer precedence, not the Bill of Sale.” I nodded understandingly as I signed the receipt.

“How long have you worked here?” I asked, noting her efficiency. “Twenty eight years,” she said. “I’ve had practice. Enjoy your car. Have a great day.”

And that was that. How does this scenario affect you? Tremendously.

Confidence Killer

It’s been correctly said, “No confidence, no sale.” If you agree, then inconsistency shatters confidence. Think about it –

You get a good steak and good service one time; the next time it’s cold, undercooked and slow. Will there be a third time? Will you recommend without warning?

PLEASE NOTE: There is not one level of your service experience that should be left to chance. To whim. To the mood of the person on the other end of the line. Though we all love to hate McDonald’s, it is the consistency of the service experience that drives sales for them, Amazon, Apple, Disney, Nordstrom’s, Ruth’s Chris and a million other places we have and are usually met with a “level of expectation.”

I asked contractor Customer Service Expert Steve Coscia (www.coscia.com), “What keeps customers coming back to a contractor?” Without hesitation, he said, “Consistent excellence.” Now that’s a concise answer. Might want to use that as a sign above your CSR desk for immediate improvements in your customer service department:

Download these sample scripts excerpted from the Ultimate CSR NitroPack plus the “Most Important Link in Your Sales Chain” for Electrical, Plumbing and HVAC.

I asked Local Listing expert Lissa Monroe (the undisputed Contractor Listing Queen, www.locallockforcontractors.com), “What is the biggest failing for contractors who can’t get on Page 1 of Google and other search engines?” After a moment’s pause, she answered, “Inconsistency in their listing data.” 

As I thought of why I had previously been a fan of a local plumbing company and then a staunch avoider of same, it was because (as reported in these pages) my earlier experiences were pleasant and professional. (Note I said nothing about the price.) My last 3 visits were borderline rude, with a complaining technician and no follow-up call (that I had gotten before).

Somebody got lazy in: a) Hiring b) Training c) Implementation and it cost them.

Then I considered why I always use our electrician. It’s because of the ‘consistent excellence’ I get. If you want to laugh at someone, laugh at me because I just spent in the low thousands on lighting at my favorite retreat in the whole world. They know I’m particular, and they sent an equally particular tech (he painted exposed conduit on a tree to mimic pine bark, promise). I am very pleased. Mildly broke, but very pleased.

They followed up, as always, asking about the service experience. I’ll use them again. Recommend them again. They’re consistent.

Relating to the editorial on Nick Saban (see 9/19/12 issue), it’s about process. What is the GOAL of your process and how effectively do you practice it?

Hudson, Ink recently changed our Customer Retention Newsletter program. We’ve massaged and modified it for years. We’re a long way from perfect, but send Customer Response emails and calls post publishing. It’s our best and most reliable “report card.” We sometimes see negative things begging for attention. We always see room for improvement. And if you’re a “consummate improver” (my particular disease), then you seek to implement and most of all…

Make it consistent.

Your continued pursuit of service consistency is a barometer of your success.

Contractor Consistency Checklist

• Your Marketing Platform – Theme, look, branding, ‘voice.’ If it’s haphazard, random, what do you think your market feels your service will be?
• Your Phone Greeting – If it’s ‘whatever they say’ and not standardized, you send a message of inconsistency. Get one. Practice it.
• Your CSR Scripting – An ordered level of service response questions; ability to access repeated info from regular customers.
• Email Correspondence – Standardized emails that can be “adjusted” per customer, but never left to chance, whim, awkward wording, risk of typos or incomplete information.
• Technician Service Sequence – A standard approach, greeting, diagnostic query, paperwork, form completion, service completion and cleanup which triggers follow up.
• Installation Sequence – Same as above. But with ‘how to operate’ as part of the sequence.
• Follow-up Service Sequence – Customer “Happy Call/Email,” pre-written, pre-scripted as part of the transaction, not “as the CSR remembers.”
• Customer Retention Program – No Customer Retention is still the #1 marketing mistake in all of contracting. A consistent program of customer retention gives customers something ‘different,’ something to expect and, most importantly,something they’d lose if they went elsewhere.

If you question that consistency is directly related to yoursales, find how many times you consistently purchase from an inconsistent provider.

I hope this slightly longer than normal editorial will serve you well. Keep it for reference. Call your coach here to help you implement a program of consistency. (We can particularly help in the marketing platform and Customer Service.)

And you can rest assured, though the money goes to the same place, I will never enter that offending DMV branch again. Guess I’ll have to get another car to prove it…