Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Think You Got Some Bugs in Your Customer Service?

For the most part, our other copywriter Jessica is easy-going. She’s very contemplative, enjoys verbal jousting, has a great sense of humor and a quick wit. The best of copywriter traits.

That said, she’s not exactly a pushover. Once a very thin line is crossed, her inner calm turns into an enraged lion with venomous snakes for hair. (Did I mention Jessica was female too?)

Fortunately – for national safety – this rarely happens. Yet in what is turning out to be the “Best Worst Customer Service Story of 2010” (no applause yet, we’re only half way through the year, and we’re renovating our kitchen, remember?), Jessica’s line was crossed.

Oh, and I think you’ll be more than a little entertained to hear what happened next, in her own words. Customer Service lessons in abundance.



How NOT to Do Customer Service

By Jessica “I ain’t taking this anymore” Knight

My sister, brother-in-law and I woke on a beautiful Saturday to go to the “big city” for shopping and massages. A few hours later, not only were our muscles gloriously melted from the spa treatment, but our arms were filled with clothes, and most importantly, fabulous new shoes.

Since shopping and massages are so tiring, it was obviously time to hit our favorite Italian restaurant. Side note: I cannot eat pasta. So going to an Italian restaurant may sound like the dumbest idea since the doggie Snuggie (it’s real – look it up), but this restaurant will substitute pasta for grilled vegetables. Plus, the food is always fantastic. Decision made.

We walked in and were quickly seated by the overly-perky hostess who proceeded to knock a full bottle of olive oil onto my shirt. As I watched my shirt soak up enough oil to blame BP, I looked up for her response. It was one word long: “Oh”.

No apology, no wet nap, no oil boom, nothing. Mentally, I registered her disregard. So, greasy but undaunted, I spent the next 10 minutes in the bathroom drying the oil so I wouldn’t ignite when they lit the table candles.

Soon enough, our food comes. Oh joy. After a few bites I grab for my water, and there bobbing in the ice cubes, is a bug. We’re not talking about a gnat…we’re talking about an actual roach doing the backstroke in my water. This ain’t good.

Given my recently dismissed oil issue and now this, I politely and calmly called for the manager.

Now contractors, put yourself in my new, fabulous, shoes for a moment. A customer has a setback, then another, and now he or she is asking for you. You can either shine and be their hero… or you can spiral this thing out of control.

When the manager arrives, I explain the situation about the bug and the uncapped oil spill. As a repeat customer, my only “intention” was to a) Alert him to the problem(s) and b) Get a new glass of water. His reaction?

If you’re expecting an apology and, “Let me get you another drink and some napkins,” or even comping the meal, prepare to be shocked. His real response was to shout, “You’re not getting your food for free!” He was inching toward the line. Snakes were indeed beginning to grow out of my newly coiffed hair.

I gathered enough resolve to re-explain the oil slick and roach, and that I only asked for a glass of water. Once I had, he escalated his own crumbling position with, “I think you have an attitude problem.”

Unleash the lion.

In as good an Al Pacino as a lady can do, I said, “You think I have an attitude problem? Nope. I’m about to demonstrate an attitude problem for you.”

That’s when I stood and walked to the six tables surrounding ours, to start six conversations that all began with:

“Do you see this roach in my drink? The manager (my attitude induced finger pointing) doesn’t think this is a problem. Do you?” Snarls and gaggery ensued.

Half the tables got up and left, including a party of 9. I sat down, my performance now over. We gathered our things and as I departed I mentioned to the properly horrified manager, who’s repulsive non customer service attitude had just cost him at least $1500, “Now that was an attitude problem.” And we left, never to darken his door again, all because of a glass of water.

Let’s be sane here. People – your people, my people, others – are going to make mistakes. But the response is what makes all the difference.

In this case, the manager could’ve replaced the water, shared my feelings, and offered to pay for whatever laundry bill to clean the shirt. I’d have been happy. If he’d also offered to comp my meal (all of $17) I’d have been overjoyed. A wise manager would’ve done so instantly.

Yet the greedy and uncaring manger lost 3 additional tables, wads of Saturday night revenue and lost customers forever. As Adams has written many times, unhappy customers will tell 12 others their story. And that was before Social Media and the internet. Ooops.

Now your reputation is a few clicks away from being broadcast. An exponential increase to the damage can result in moments.

So if you leave a customer’s house a wreck, or don’t show up with the right materials, or have a dreaded “call back”, your reputation is on the line based on your reaction.

The lesson? Don’t be afraid to over correct. Spending more to save a customer and stem the bad word of mouth can save you (and make you) tons of money in the long run. Investing in your current and repeat customers generally has a better ROI than trying to replace them.

Bon appetit!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

8 Wise Things That I Have Learned, Some of Them Just Yesterday

Having had a birthday this week, I decided to assemble my list of wise sayings and observations. When you start seeing gray hair, you can do this too. This article has very little to do with marketing, except for the last one, so consider yourself warned.

  1. If you don’t think birthdays are worth celebrating, try skipping one. Same goes for every day, including this one.
  2. If your wife of 25 years asks you before you go out, “Are you wearing that?” this does not mean she’s been stricken blind. She essentially means “You look hopelessly unkempt, inappropriate, and stupid.” Your options are to a) change clothes or b) prepare to not stand next to her for the duration of said event. Either option can have advantages. I did not just say that.
  3. The next time a company worth $40 billion asks for a permit to drill a hole in the earth, please ask if they can fill the hole they make. My sheetrock guy, carpenter, auto bodyman and dentist – who aren’t worth $40 billion - make holes and know how to patch them. They consider it part of their job, and would be insulted if you thought otherwise. Related to this…
  4. I wouldn’t order any oysters until 2025. Or later.
  5. When your teenage children drive you nuts because their moods are governed by tides on an evil and distant planet, remind yourself of this: Your tolerance of them now is in direct proportion to the tolerance they’ll have for you later when you’re telling them about gall bladder surgery. Again.
  6. If you feel the need to make a smarty pants comment to a waiter or waitress, don’t do it until after your food has been served. If you are with someone who forgets this rule, make sure you order something significantly different from them. For instance, if you order soup and the rude person does too, you should immediately say, “I have a sudden craving for the flaming lamb kabobs instead.”
  7. If you’re caught napping at your desk, the all time best response is, “… in his name we pray, amen.” Though a good response, if false, you may be punished more discreetly and severely that just being honest with your boss.
  8. If you are Nike and your trillionaire client with a squeaky clean image seems to have misplaced his wedding vows, it is in poor taste – marketing or otherwise – to try and buy back public sympathy with an ad campaign featuring his deceased father. My advice: drop him. Just do it.

And so, since I’m sure there are tens of thousands of cards in the mail wishing me so, I’ll wish myself a happy birthday. See? Wisdom is knowing your audience.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Idea. Tools. Action. Results.

I know tons of idea people. I generally like them, but when they say they’re “going to” do something, I don’t hold my breath. Before long, they’re onto the next thing, having talked themselves out of the idea’s implementation with any of the 467 reasons their last idea never got implemented either. Their inability has nothing to do with the merits of the idea, or their skill.

I know several tool people. They love gadgets, hardware, software, tools... doesn’t matter. “Things” are fun to research, consume, read about. They have deep, specific knowledge of skill. Many have closets and book shelves filled with the next thing that’s gonna change their life. Except life often gets in the way of using the tool for that purpose. Their inability has nothing to do with the tool or their recognition of its value.

I know far fewer action people. Some act first and think later, but as long as no one gets killed or fortunes get evaporated, no real harm done. Sometimes they confuse action with results. Experience often (but not always) guides them to get better at choosing opportunities. Their ability often comes with little core talent of the “craft” required to succeed, yet a great talent in confidence, persuasion, and team building.

Then there are the rare “results” people. They love outcome, feedback, improvement, measurement from before and after. They’re un-fun to be around if results are weak, but when the results “matter” (choose your definition) their joy and elation is contagious. The best don’t mind a fair critique, but their determination often overrides or makes them relatively immune to criticism. Their wisdom is often copying others’ proven results using similar input; their failure is thinking all the good results are ‘theirs’.

If the first two groups don’t recognize their need for the last two groups, inactivity becomes a death sentence. If the last two groups don’t see the value in the first two, they turn into opinionated, reckless blowhards. (Often setting them up for a career in politics.)

My Pollyanna point: It takes all these traits – rarely ever found in one body – to generate a model by which successes, fortunes, and world changes are formed. Sometimes just hearing about results inspires the rest of us to action.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

At This Moment I Was Doomed

We’re finally doing it. We’ve committed to ‘the deed’. And though I’ve been dreading it like getting an amateur colonoscopy, we’re finally redoing our kitchen.
When we moved into our lovable and creaky 1911 house, it had been ‘updated’. But that was when Seinfeld was the rage, most women’s hairdos appeared to be the result of electrocution, and cell phones were the size of microwaves. (Little known fact: Early models did cook bacon.)

Like most guys, my kitchen needs were limited to a 48 quart cooler and toaster oven, so I didn’t really “notice” any urgency to the cause. Yet after some nagging threats knives being pulled discussing this with my wife, I finally admitted that Formica – an indestructible product first used in Jane Jetson’s kitchen – may be slightly out of style.

At this moment, I was doomed.

Within seconds, designers and contractors swarmed my house. My silly question: How did countertops trigger a major renovation?

Because, you idiot, the cabinets upon which the Formica is cryogenically fused are stupid and clash with everything in the world. The new cabinets will then horribly outclass the wretched appliances including Harvest Gold HotPoint Double Oven which has grease stains older than Larry King. That’s how.

This is when you get a look that basically says, “I’m surprised you still remember to swallow after chewing.” I was dying a slow death here. A tip to those of you who still have Formica: Move. Save your marriage and just move.

When the swelling went down, we met with a registered Kitchen Designer. Of course, the “UN” registered ones are all in jail – or should be - for putting the trendy farm sink outside of the “preparation triangle”. You just don’t do this.

Within moments, the Designer had suggested moving doorways, installing thousands of can lights and updating to a stove bigger than my college apartment. It had big red knobs. Something called a “Pot Filler” was mentioned (a second uninvited college reference resurfaced. I kept it to myself). Lastly, white marble was to cover every surface, I think including the windows. I glanced at my wife who was in full kitchen lust. Tiny but appropriate froth formed at the corner of her mouth. I began scanning the classifieds for a night job.

Cue The Contractor

Last summer, we added a bathroom for my daughter and the contractor was excellent. Good quality, on time, on budget. We “mentioned” the kitchen then. Wisely, he was semi-regularly in touch, even though he stays booked when many contractors weren’t.

(Make a note people: “Call me if you decide to do something” isn’t good enough anymore. He knows there are many skilled contractors around; several prowl our neighborhood.) Once the appropriate lip froth was wiped away, he got the next phone call.

After he saw the initial plans it was determined that we’d need every subcontractor in the tri-states area, including those for trades that hadn’t been invented yet. Then things got interesting.

The designer had her list of subs, clearly influential here. (Take another note.) The contractor had a list. (Note again.) Now if your note-taking hand isn’t cramped… we did too.
Only one subcontractor was on all 3 lists. Guess what this contractor did differently than the others? Put your best guess in the comments section.

Yet there will be a parade of subs, some below $2,000 in work. At least 2 over $20,000. Not big money for many of you guys, but multiply it by all the work going on in your town now. Somebody’s getting it, because somebody’s on “the list”. My advice:

Be On “The List”

Over the next few issues, we’re going farther into the “referral chain” than I’ve ever revealed. There are free jobs in this methodology, but most contractors overlook it or think they “just happen”. They don’t. Coaching members, expect an upcoming call on this topic.

You can also TWEET the living heck out of me, where I give random updates as they happen… as long as my wife doesn’t kick me out of the house during 8 weeks with no kitchen.

Are You Running The Business – Or Is It Running You?

My 16 year old daughter and her team just snagged a spot in the state track meet, and I, by proxy, am feeling pretty accomplished. My thinking is that those speedy genes came from somewhere and there’s at least a 50% chance that they came from me. Of course, just thinking about all of that running has me panting with exhaustion. So maybe the genes came from her mother’s side…

At any rate, running a contracting business gives you a great feeling of accomplishment and sometimes a great feeling of exhaustion! One of the biggest risks is that your attention is pulled in so many directions that you lose sight of the things needed for your survival. Like with a lot of things, the secret of success is no secret at all. To excel in business you will have to do the following three things (or your failure is relatively assured):

1.Technical proficiency: 78% of contractors come from trade or on-the-job training. Getting more training is needed to improve your technical proficiency AND to improve your ability to solve your customers’ problems. But your expertise here is useless in realizing your business goals without…
2.Effective Business Systems. This is about a little thing called money. Your financial and operations picture dictates how well or if you’re being paid well enough to stay afloat. Yet without sales, it doesn’t matter. Here’s why:
3.Marketing runs the machine, not the other way around. Your sales are directly related to your leads, which ARE your ads, and comprise much of your marketing efforts. If you have a problem with your sales, you must determine: is it a presentation problem, closing problem… or a problem with lead generation?
Good marketing brings in leads. But don’t let your understanding stop at that point. Marketing is not about getting more leads.

Wait a minute – did I hear myself correctly? Yes, I did. Effective marketing is not necessarily about getting more leads. It’s about getting the right leads. To know whether you’re getting the right leads, here are some other things you should consider:

•Cost per lead is paramount. Who cares if newspaper placement costs you $100 more if it brings you more leads per dollar? Don’t freak out about bigger postcards, first-class mail, or a bigger Yellow Pages ad. Review what the expense brings you. It’s an investment, remember?
•Fewer shoppers is very cool. When you do creative marketing, you are – by definition – making a creative offer that is typically not duplicatable. Thus, it’s unshoppable. Thus, you’ve just put yourself out of the “discounting” business to “get the job.” Please don’t make me write “thus” again, except for thus…
•Higher margins. Fewer shoppers and unique offering means you can ask and get more for your goods. Try 2%, or 5% more to start. My guess is that you won’t lose one single customer except for Mickey McCheap, and you’ve been trying to dump him for years. The rest is yours to keep. We write lead-generation ads that openly tout increased benefits without saying a word about how “cheap” the service is.
•Success through seasonal dips is what most contractors want. With great marketing, you can turn your leads off and on like a switch. HVAC, Electrical or Plumbing Agreements, system offerings during mild weather can generate repeatable income each year. Start with a tune-up or service ad first, never attempt to sell a Maintenance Agreement in broad-market media. That’s a loser. (Believe me, I know!)
•Better Ad rates, Better Top of Mind Awareness (TOMA), More “Me, too” customers all result from a steady stream of good marketing pieces. Everything from a newspaper presence, yard sign visibility, lead-generating Yellow Page ads, postcards that stand out, Newsletters people actually read – it all adds up to smart marketing, real profit and, ultimately, a successful contracting business.

In this way, you run the business instead of it running you. Isn’t that the goal?

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Driving Me Crazy

Who could imagine that my ‘baby’ girl just turned 16? I remember when my wife told me ‘we’ were pregnant with this, our second child. I was driving the trusty Chrysler minivan (legally mandated for all young parents back then) on a heavy switchback road in western North Carolina called ‘tail of the dragon’ to give you an idea of the curviness.

In a car with sporting pretense, this is a dream road. A minivan on this road was like wearing a burlap bathing suit to the Queen’s coronation. Hardly appropriate. For several seconds after she told me, I was in stunned silence, mouth agape, almost plummeting into several ravines. A little personal aside:

We’d tried for 5 years to ‘finally’ get pregnant with our first child. Yet that little miracle was 10 months old in his car seat when she told me of the second. And this little girl has been regularly surprising ever since.

She’s an accomplished pianist, outstanding student, and has a smile that could melt cast iron. And like all dads of teenagers, I am stupider than a turtle on crack. (I’m waiting for that to change, hopefully before I’m too senile to appreciate it.)

Yet the real surprise of the day, is she is now a legal driver, piloting her very own (used) car. Wow. Another shocker was shopping for this car. Double wow.

Let’s just get this out into the open: Car dealers used to have a reputation slightly lower than most sewer rats or even plaintiff attorneys. Some of this was undeserved, but mostly it was because they were conniving, lecherous, money-grubbing deceitful organisms in snappy outfits.

In those days, you’d walk onto a car lot, looking for say, a nice used Caprice in the $12 grand range. An hour later, you’d drive out in a bent Cadillac Brougham with the Wayne Newton package and a payment book totaling $48,724. In your review mirror, a guy with a Televangelist hairdo and a white belt would be counting money that used to be yours.

Not any more.

Possibly due to being sued every 30 minutes for 20 years, car dealers wised up. Then CarFax came along, and the internet happened, and ‘reviews’ started. Then ebay, traderonline, cars.com, yahoocars and craigslist all illuminate the ‘global car lot’. (Hint: Same with your business today.) Prices, options, and reviews could be relentlessly shopped. Reputations got earned or lost far faster. (Ditto.)

My daughter narrowed her search to a particular year, color, and body style of Jeep. Mean old dad gave her a firm “do not exceed or bodily harm could ensue” price range. Luckily, this necessitated a diligent search. She’d come home from school and zero in on 3-4 cars daily that ‘fit’ most criteria, saving links for me to contact

Dutifully, I emailed each (24 in all) with the same message, same parameters. The responses and reactions varied wildly. (See Bonus article at end.) This gave me a cross-section of sales and marketing methods, with suggestions for you on each.

What the Smart Guys are Doing Right

1. Systemized Yet Personal – The top-tier guys use the information gathered online to ‘aim’ a personal email message, in sequence. The call was equally personalized, effectively scripted. Additional links in emails in case I “upsold” or “cross-sold” myself. Pure genius. They realize people aren’t making inquiries for fun.

Suggested: Have a sequence of 3 personalized AutoResponders, give options to contact, and that you’ve assigned a specialist to them. Use links back to your site, suggest upgrades or accessories. Give options to get your mailed newsletter (forces them to give address and another opportunity for relationship.) If people are inquiring, they’re serious.

2. Transparency and Disclosure – The top tier guys are making sure you’re hyper informed. Just ‘offering’ a CarFax and a Consumer Review whether people get it or not (often free) earns huge credibility points. People are nervous out there, for good reason.

Suggested: Inform prospects on your website – not just about how great you are – but about product comparisons, energy costs, reviews, testimonials. Your mailed newsletter will also contain product and service cross-selling. Today’s buyer wants to ‘know’ you, and that’s often done through multi-media, smart marketing.

3. “Cheaper” isn’t Better – Interesting. If I didn’t bring it up, the dealers I considered ‘best’ did not force ‘cheap price’ down my throat, yet the old school cheesy guys did regardless. To me, this cheapened them. The better guys talked of reputation, warranty, options to make this car what I wanted. The top guys told me they could add a sunroof, leather interior, navigation, and a host of ‘cost plus’ upgrades. The cheap guys only talked cheap.

Suggested: Don’t assume all your buyers are in bargain mode. Assume they want quality, then go from there. Good to have bundled pricing ‘tiers’ for all, naming them accordingly. Cross-selling and upselling other benefits typically has a far higher margin, thus a worthwhile part of every script, communication, newsletter, follow-up.

In all, I ended up buying from the guy who was probably 2nd most impressive dealer, but had the car. Credit to the most impressive guy: When I told him what I’d found, he said, “If I were shopping, I’d buy that one too.” Yes, I kept his contact info as well.

The least impressive dealers, probably the bottom 10, never called back, never emailed again. Four of the top dealers have sent me follow ups – automated thus zero cost – just as impressive as the first.

The difference between ‘top’ and ‘ordinary’ is huge in image, sales, and reputation. But doing the ‘right things’ versus ‘hardly anything’ isn’t much – a few well-worded emails, some excellent sales training and the shockingly rare ability to listen to prospects and help them spend their money.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Victors, Victims, and Volunteers

SAFETY TIP: Do not try to remove a 10-pound fire extinguisher from its bracket with your head. You really should just use your hands.

I was minding my own business, really. I’d leaned down in my garage to see if I – a mere mortal with a flawed sense of mechanical aptitude – could remove the front bumper cover off my needy car to get to the horns.

See, it had wimpy horns. And in the intelligence of the Dodge Viper assembly team who likely considers honking inferior to just lighting up the tires to escape harms’ way, they’d stuck the horns in a thoroughly unreachable area. I knelt all the way down to see the dinky little horns beside the radiator. Then I stand up abruptly.

Major ouch. At my height, I don’t bump my head very much, so I made up for several lost opportunities.

Two very loud ‘clonks’ rang through the building – the first being my head removing said fire extinguisher from the bracket, the second being the extinguisher hitting the floor, scattering tools about the cement floor.

I got to my feet and poured a bottle of water on my aching head, clearly needing stitches. I contemplated going to the emergency room, but images of waiting behind gunshot victims and those with various communicable diseases coughing in my general direction made me to reconsider. (Avoidance of additional pain, a sales lesson worth noting.)

So, with icepack on head, I watched Americans in Idle with my sweet wife and marginally concerned teenagers. The next day I went to the doctor who did his embroidery and sent me on my way. Got me to thinking.

Stuff happens. Quickly and without notice. There are ‘accidents’ so named because there’s no one to blame for their occurrence. I guess I could’ve gone ‘victim’ and sued the contractor who installed the fire extinguisher, the fire extinguisher company for not ‘softening’ the edges of said unit. Plaintiffs and the tapeworms posing as their attorneys have gotten paid for more preposterous things, I assure you.

In this economy, we’re hearing more about “victims” of its wrath. For the guy or lady who lost their jobs due to plummeting sales (which govern the economic machine, lest you forget) out of their control, “victim” could be apropos.

Or for those whose livelihoods have taken an epic-sized belt tightening due to skittish customers or the collectively paranoid lenders that used to keep the pipelines flowing, the “victim” word accepted. Yet for many hoping for a Victim card, might I suggest a different word…

Such as “Volunteer”. You make the call:

Case Study: A contractor who had been doing well in the go-go economy, was seeing his agreement renewal rate slip, his closing ratios tilt downward, and his margins erode to get the jobs. “This is the economy” he told us.

We suggested circling the wagons and protecting his customer base first, locking down renewals, beginning a low-cost referral campaign, then getting aggressive with Direct Response acquisition strategies for better-heeled, less price sensitive new customers.

In essence, he responded “Nonsense”, and promptly spent $60,000 on a radio campaign that was more about his ego and price-cutting than existing customers. Failure ensued.

During the past 12 months, he’d actually reduced his Customer Retention campaign to fund the “new” marketing. In time, his “old” customers heard the “new” offer, saw it as superior which generated two responses: a) Cut me the same deal or I’m gone and/or b) If that’s how you treat loyalty, I’m gone. Thus, his respondents became a mix of current customers seeking a concession and cheapskates.

Immediate margin erosion and accelerated customer exodus sent our contractor into a tailspin. Most profitable leads dried up. Ninety days later and half a staff later, he still has $15grand a month due in radio, his YP budget was never trimmed (suggested for 3 years, “couldn’t give up the priority placement” said his ego), many current customers and their agreements defected due to inequity and inattention. Some defectors commented on a blog site and reflected same in Google Rankings. Not good.

He admitted that he’s very likely a couple pay cycles from the “B” word if things don’t improve. Called his company a “victim” of the economy. Your assessment?

Send responses to editor@hudsonink.com. Hottest strategies for ‘Joining the Victors” next issue.

There are victors, victims, and volunteers. This economy is making their distinctions very clear. Joining the victors is mostly a choice to do so.

NOTE: A discussion of “Victor” strategies in lead generation will be covered in a one time webinar hosted by the NEWS on April 14. Called, “Phones Not Ringing? Top 7 Ways to Generate More Leads”. Very limited seating remains. More here: https://event.on24.com/eventRegistration/EventLobbyServlet?target=registration.jsp&eventid=198591&sessionid=1&key=5239ED983DFE7328DF1AA7EC49A026DB&partnerref=hudson&sourcepage=register