Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Marketing Lessons from My Dentist

Like many who are fond of their teeth, I go to my dentist every 6 months for a check-up. Basically, this is a $320 detail job and they don’t even shampoo the carpet.

The dental hygienist lady has a habit of referring to me as “we”. She’s either aware of my multiple personalities or lives a parallel life as a pre-school teacher. “How are WE doing today? Are we having any trouble with our teeth?”

Worse, she half sings these questions, which is – or should be - punishable by death in many states, all of which I’d like to now live in.  Soon she has at least three hands in my mouth, and I can barely make out ‘Don’t Worry Be Happy’ straining through a 5” speaker covered in tooth dust.

Then she says this, which is a lesson in sales and marketing of the highest order. (You may want to floss before reading.)

See, I used to dread the dentist. As an 8 year old, I hid behind a sofa until my appointment had long passed. Then, incorrectly assuming the coast was clear, was spotted by my frantically searching mother. My rear-end took the pain originally intended for my molar regions. It was a good swap.

I mean, dentist dude had seriously hairy arms, a syringe borrowed from the zoo, and a drill that sounded like mosquitos on crack. He focused all his activity in my mouth, which was just fine when it was me and the Three Musketeers. But no, Der Drill Meister had to spoil my fun and talk about gumlines, flossing, and keeping my teeth. What a killjoy.

As a result of my dental defiance, by age 12 I had enough silver in my mouth to effect the currency market in Bolivia.

Yet by college age, modern dentistry was here. Gone were the torture rituals of old, no longer did they use pulleys and horse drawn carts to extract teeth. “Oh darn Mr. Crumpley! Wrong one! We’ll just saddle ‘er up again to get the right one. Here, chew on a bullet.”

The bullet, I might add, remains preferable to the People Magazine featuring anyone who has known or married a Kardashian.  

Yet we all learn that Preventive Maintenance is key. And it leads to…

Salesmanship for Non-Salespeople

Today I am in a comfortable chair (like a La-Z-Boy with handcuffs and a rinse cycle) while micro-abrasive cleaning tools gently erase a subtle hue of coffee and red wine. “We” are being sung to, sort of, and I’m caught by the following –

“And todayyyy…”, sounding like she’s about to announce recess, “We’re due for our X-ray as part of our routine.” I make a noise like I have a whole baked potato in my mouth which she correctly interprets as approval.

Soon, a machine suitable for Darth Vader selfies is aimed at my check, a gentle buzz emanates, and she says, “Now we’ll do the other side”. ZZZap. In 40 seconds, I’ve just spent another $240. But remember, this is part of our routine.

“So while we wait for the Doctor, let’s get your appointment scheduled. I’ve got you down for 6 months out, and I see you prefer mornings, right?”

“Yes, that’s right”, I mumble, rinsing out the cleaning cocktail in the little swirly sink.

“And what day of the week do you not prefer, knowing that we don’t take Friday appointments?”

“Uh, Tuesdays and Thursdays are fine.”

“Okay, we’ve got you down. If there are any changes, let us know ahead of time. Here’s your written slip, plus we’re sending you an email and a text reminder to put into your Outlook calendar.”

I’ve just committed a morning 6 months from now to spend a few hundred more dollars having “our” teeth media blasted. The scheduled visit after that? “We” get our X-ray.

There was no selling, only assumption. There was no, “Do you want to do this again? I sure hope so! Mandy will send a card then call you to set something up.” None of that.

Are you listening, oh ye filled with ‘How to sell and renew Maintenance Agreements’ woes? Go re-read her script.

There was no scheduling meltdown.  No, “The office will get back with you later.” It was scheduled plus Alternate of Choice.  a) It’ll be 6 months. b) Morning or afternoon. c) Which day of week. Oh, and they don’t do Fridays. Smart limitation, creates mild scarcity.

There was no upselling “Do you want me to (check ductwork leakage; adjust your water heater; do a fuse panel test)?” It was, “As part of our routine, the X-ray (upsell) is included.”

Here’s an assumption for you: Your customer has you out. You tell them Preventive Maintenance is the cure for the equivalent of their painful drillings and fillings. You tell them of your automated routine, happens like clockwork, they don’t even have to think to keep their home system maintained and working like new. Just check here, you’ll get a reminder, plus a call as it nears.

Too many contractors give too many customers the “option” to opt-out. To forget. To intend to call you again, and to use you next season, but – by darn – they got busy and didn’t. Now they use someone else. Or Mandy calls to schedule the appointment this week and you know, the darn washing machine went out, so we’re going to have to wait. Until never.

See folks, this “Retention Mission” I’ve been on is not just some esoteric marketing mantra. It is a way to virtually eliminate competition, to reduce the rigors of ‘selling’, to quit having to prove and reprove yourself every time. And I’ll not turn this into a commercial; I’ll accept a nod of agreement. In fact,

Every home with heating, cooling, plumbing, and electrical should have an agreement. Just like those of you with teeth might want that twice a year check-up. Don’t we?

Adams Hudson

1.      Do you have a Maintenance Agreement Program? 
YES, works perfectly.      
YES, has some issues    
NO, but I’d consider one    

2.      My Agreement program ‘Auto Renews’?  YES    NO
3.      I offer an Agreement to every customer.   YES    NO  

4.      I’d like to learn more about Maintenance Agreements in an upcoming Coaching Call.     YES      NO

No comments: